11 Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

Continuing our pattern of only visiting Vietnamese cities that begin with the letter "H", we made our way down to Ho Chi Minh City by plane. The busride would have been 20 hours and Patrick was not ready to snuggle another Vietnamese man. Plus the flight cost only $10 more.

Ho Chi Minh City is filled with reminders of the Vietnam War. We visited Reunification Palace, famous as the site where Northern tanks broke through the front gates in 1975 to mark the end of the war. The building is now something of a shrine; everything has been left just as it was that day. The War Remnants Museum tells a very powerful, if primarily one-sided narrative that presents the war as an American genocide against the Vietnamese. It's filled with emotional, disturbing images--from pictures of Agent Orange victims to models of "tiger cages" used by Americans to contain prisoners. To learn more about the Viet Cong side of things we took a day trip to visit the Cu Chi Tunnels. During the war this was the site of a extensive network of underground tunnels used by the Viet Cong. Now, there are models of the guerrilla traps they used, secret holes in which they hid, and a firing range where visitors can shoot an original Viet Cong gun. The highlight was getting to crawl through 120 meters of the preserved tunnels. This was a hot, claustrophobic, and intense experience that left us sweating buckets and undoubtedly would never be allowed at a US tourist attraction without signing dozens of liability waivers.

We made time for a little relaxation while in town, too. Katrina got a blind massage at the Vietnamese Traditional Medicine Institute, which as the name implies was set up more like a hospital ward than a spa. There was one large room with curtained cubicles, with masseuses' chattering and skin being pummelled all around creating the soundtrack. The massage was serious business--Katrina was squirming on the table as her masseuse attacked with precision and gusto. But her rejuvenated muscles thanked her in the end.

We were delighted when we discovered that the circus was in town just a few blocks from our hotel. We joined a quarter-full tent of spectators to take in the show of acrobats, jumping dogs, and magic tricks. While it didn't score high in terms of impressive feats, it was one of the more amusing things we've seen so far. Particularly because the main dance/gymnast group (who we nicknamed the Backstreet Boys) had significant trouble sticking their landings, possibly due to their tight leather pants. Warning: don't try this at home.

Our stay in Ho Chi Minh City coincided with American Thanksgiving and were craving turkey bad (OK, any comfort western food). Thankfully, we located a Thanksgiving dinner buffet at the Legend Hotel. We tried to go in with low expectations, just hoping that the turkey wasn't basted with soy sauce and stuffed with rice noodles. But the spread that greeted us made us swoon. Heart-warming staples of mashed potatoes, roast pumpkin, and apple pie were displayed alongside elegant additions of raw oysters, a foie gras station, and chocolate fountain. None of this, though, distracted us from the turkey. It surprised us that it was a little hard to find, small and hidden among other meats at a chef carving station. What surprised us even more was that after two of these miniature turkeys were carved and consumed by ravenous American diners like us in the first half hour, the kitchen substituted an odd-looking chicken roll on the turkey's cutting board. Apparently the Vietnamese do not understand just how integral turkey is to Thanksgiving dinner. We're just glad we got there early...by the time we left it appeared there might be an angry American mob uprising.

View more pictures from Ho Chi Minh City here.

5 Hoi An, Vietnam

It's pretty easy to live the good life in Vietnam. Twenty dollars in Hoi An will buy you a spacious hotel room with canopy bed and flat screen TV, and the food in town was plentiful and cheap. When we were lured into Cargo Club on our first afternoon by a mouthwatering pastry display case and entered into an elegant dining room with a second floor patio, we were sure we'd be leaving with empty pockets. But nothing cost more than a few dollars and their chocolate mousse was out of this world. Patrick himself ventured into outer space three times during our stay as we proceeded to frequent Cargo Club on a bi-daily basis for the rest of our stay.

It wasn't all croissants and baguettes for us in Hoi An. We took a private cooking class at Yellow Flower Restaurant and learned to make wonton soup, lemongrass chicken, sweet and sour pork, and some killer spring rolls. Do expect us to show off the next time you are our guests.

The town of Hoi An is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and they don't let you forget it. The entire downtown is preserved, frozen in time, with a $4 ticket gaining you access to historic houses, assembly halls, museums, and of course temples. Though in most cases these tiny buildings obscured by countless shops catering to the many packs of roving tourists didn't have much to see once inside. The two standouts of the lot were the lovely Japanese Covered Bridge and the Phuc Kien Assembly Hall. The ticket also entitled us to a cultural performance of live music and women dancing with clay pots on their heads and silk fans. Not at the same time though, which sorely disappointed Patrick.Setting aside the charm of Hoi An's colorful streets, the main tourist activity is shopping. More specifically, shopping for custom made clothing and shoes. There are more than 200 tailors in tiny Hoi An that make the historic sites often hard to spot. The general drill is: a tourist walks in to a shop, points to one of the model garments on display, selects a fabric, negotiates a price, poses for some quick measurements, and 12 hours later returns for alterations to the essentially finished product. It's kind of like being a Project Runway model. In most cases the price negotiation also involves the commission of more clothes--the more you buy the more you save. A couple we ran into from our Halong Bay cruise had ended up with several suits, a dress, two pairs of jeans, and new sandals after three days in town. We, however, limited ourselves to a winter coat for Patrick and a silk dress for Katrina. The coat won't be needed for another month, and the dress has no use on this trip at all, but $38 for two custom garments is too hard to pass up. Even Nina Garcia would be impressed with the speed and craftsmanship of Hoi An's tailors.

View more pictures from Hoi An here.

5 Hue, Vietnam

We have taken a lot of overnight buses during this trip, but the ride from Hanoi to Hue was the coziest. Vietnam's sleeper buses have three rows of bunk beds front to back with two aisles so that everyone has a private sleeping area, but to maximize on space, in the very back is a single line of five beds side by side. Of course this ended up being where our seats were assigned, numbers 38 and 39, with a Finnish couple at the other end and a Vietnamese man sandwiched in the middle. It was already awkward enough to look over and see this guy's face inches away, but the man also had no qualms stretching out, draping his leg over Patrick's and getting comfortable. More comfortable for him, but less for Patrick, who slept with one eye open during the 12-hour ride south.

We were relieved to finally get to Hue and the town was a refreshing change of pace from the motorbike mayhem of Hanoi and the tourist-packed waterways of Halong Bay. We're not sure if it was the rainy weather or the spread out nature of the sights, but we were practically alone during our exploration of the Citadel--which just added to the abandoned feeling of Hue's old walled imperial city. The area is vast, filled with crumbling buildings and ponds covered in blooming lilypads. It's a maze to get through and ornate gateways lead from section to section.

The imperial tombs are several kilometers from downtown, but they are easy to reach by dragonboat ride down the Perfume River. It's a spectacular way to approach the complexes as the grand structures seem to arise out of nowhere. The tombs are incredibly impressive, but not in the jaw-dropping, Taj Mahal kind of way. They are serene and stately with a quiet beauty that suggests the emperors were thinking very strategically about where they'd want to spend eternity. Despite being a tourist attraction they've managed to remain unspoiled. Other stops included Thien Mu Pagoda and a Kung Fu demonstration which our guide described as what people in Vietnam used to defend their borders, before 1945 when "the Russians came and gave them guns."

View more pictures from Hue here.

10 Hanoi, Vietnam

We quickly learned that in Vietnam there is never a need to worry about transportation. The streets are teeming with people making offers, from taxis and trishaws to motorbike drivers with room on the back of their rides. And with the exchange rate of 18,000 Dong to one US Dollar, nothing ever costs very much either (withdrawing four million of a currency from an ATM is pretty fun). Zooming through the lively streets of Hanoi on the back of a single motorbike to Hoa Lo Prison, also known as the "Hanoi Hilton", was totally exhilarating for us, but a common thrill in town. We often saw families of four packed snuggly together. The trishaw ride to the Temple of Literature was a little more our speed, and the serene Confucian complex that greeted us matched the sleepy pace.

For the most part, though, Hanoi's Old Quarter is fairly compact and easy to navigate by foot. Just watch out for those crazy motorbikes whizzing by! We walked from the beautifully preserved Memorial House where we took in a slice of life from days gone by to Ngoc Son Temple perched out on Hanoi's central lake. On the banks of Hoan Kiem is Thang Long Theatre where we enjoyed a traditional water puppet show. The set was constructed around a square pool at the center with musicians playing exotic, traditional instruments stage left to accompany the colorful puppets as they danced over and through the water. Some puppets even blew smoke or squirted water for old school special effects.

Aside from a drastic drop in temperature another welcome change in leaving Malaysia and Singapore behind was Vietnamese food. Sure there was more noodle soup, but we at least got some new spices and type of noodles with the ubiquitous pho. We also loved the addition of baguettes to the standard street food fare and bakeries on many corners; thank you, French colonialism! But the best meal we had was at Cha Ca La Vong. The menu at this establishment consists of only one dish: cha ca, a sizzling pan of fish with greens and peanuts served over noodles. We knew we'd found a good place when both floors were completely packed with Vietnamese chowing down, and we understood why as soon as we took a bite. Of course the best compliment to any of this food is the local brew. Bia hoi, or draught beer, was available for around 16 cents a glass at most street corners in Hanoi.

It was clear from the signs at all the travel agencies in town that like Phi Phi Island from Phuket, Ha Long Bay was the top excursion from Hanoi. We booked a two day, one night boat trip and were enchanted with the idea of sleeping on a junk. The boat that is, not a heaping pile of trash. The bay was lovely, dotted with limestone islets that faded into the horizon. It all made for the perfect setting for a setting sun. Somewhat disappointing, however, were the visits to a garishly lit up cave and an "authentic" fishing village of floating homes that now gets a few hundred camera-toting tourists per day. But the worst was the fact that a majority of the tour time we spent being herded as a flock of backpackers, changing boats and waiting for rides. Mix that with some short-fused tour guides and it was the recipe for an angry mob of travelers that almost staged an uprising on the drive back to Hanoi! We chose to just smile and take in the scenery out the cramped minibus window, knowing a cold glass of practically free beer was awaiting upon return.

View more pictures from Hanoi here.